Daddy's Girls Club

I am starting a club and naming it Daddy’s Girls. Do you remember when we were young and everything seemed to revolve around being in a “club”. Week to week the club may change about as often as we changed our mind about most anything as a young girl. And, whether or not you were in the “club” depended on who was doing the organizing and choosing of members. Being left out was the ultimate punishment a friend may inflict if she was prone to getting revenge for even the most minor of offences.

Well, my club isn’t based on whim or fancy, likes or dislikes. Rather, it is formed by a very unique group of Daddy’s Girls that have been through the valley with their Daddy and can never turn back the hands of time. To be in this club means you have endured, faced life head on, loved lavishly and given unselfishly as Daddy’s Girl.

Most certainly, club members will welcome and embrace one another as those outside the club are unable to do. Their camaraderie will be evident in their understanding of one another, their tears, and their nods of affirmation. It isn’t easy to join Daddy’s Girls. It will cost you dearly, but it is worth every tear.

No one begins life planning to join Daddy’s Girls and the funny thing about it is that you don’t even know the club exists UNTIL you are already a member and meet another member. Suddenly, it is like pinky swear all over again and you could say, “jinx, you owe me a coke” because you keep saying the same things without even trying. 

Members have many things in common that are meaningful and deep but one of the most obvious is that they had a Daddy who loved them dearly, was so proud of them that he could just about pop the buttons on a vest if he wore one, and never tired of telling anyone who would listen about his girls. These Daddys were Mr. Fix It, Santa Claus, and Prince Charming all rolled into one. These Daddys made their little girls dreams come true and even when they really didn’t want to do it, you would never know!

But back to the Club. Sometime along life’s way the Daddy becomes older and the Daddy’s Girls begin to switch places with him and care more for him as he weakens and can do less and less for them. But that never diminishes the pride he feels or the smile he beams at just being with his girls. These are just pop quizzes and midterm exams but then one day the final test for being in the Daddy’s Girls Club comes. Daddy's girls suddenly find themselves wishing it wasn’t so and hoping against hope that something will change. Surely Mr. Fix It, Santa, and Prince Charming all rolled into one will garner the strength, or win the battle just one more time. But this time is different, he is losing, and he won’t stand tall ever again. 

Daddy’s Girls remember the love, the loyalty, and just how proud he was to call them his own. They remember all he taught them and they know what to do because they are Daddy’s Girls. They can’t walk away from the battle, even though he is losing the war. They stay, they love, they speak as he has spoken countless times over the years to them. Daddy’s Girls tell him they are okay, they will be fine,  and he did a good job. They also tell him it’s okay to go and they stay close and wait until the last breath, and the after breath tell them he’s gone. Daddy’s girls love to the end as he always loved them, lavishly, without holding back. It’s the least they could do for one who dried their tears, bandaged their skinned knees, and mended their broken hearts along the path of life.

Daddy’s Girls, the club for those who are given the privilege of choosing to stay by their Daddy’s side until his last breath. They are forever changed and forever blessed to have been Daddy’s Girls right to the end when he had to go, took a piece of their heart with him, and left his legacy of love behind.

·      In Memory of Gregory P. Graham

·      March 1, 2013 - Pam Cornell and Patte Smith joined the Daddy’s Girls Club

Mingled Tears

Tears of joy and tears of sorrow,
Tears of regret and fears for tomorrow,
Every tear that flows is captured above,
And shouts silently as a testament to love.
Hardened hearts feel no pain, nor do they shed a tear,
Their hearts have closed the door to shun the risk of pain.
The hearts of those who dare to love, also dare to cry,
For love and tears flow mingled down and intertwined.
So too, The Savior's love and sorrow flowed mingled down,
For it was His thorns that composed so rich a crown.

In memory of dad whose tears I dried and mingled with mine during his final days of illness.
Gregory P. Graham
1-2-28 to 3-1-13

"It's Not Life-Threatening"

On this morning's news it was reported that Warren Buffett, the well-known billionaire, has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. The report quoted Buffett as saying that it isn't "remotely life- threatening." Those words struck me as quite odd because we all have a "life-threatening" condition! We have to admit that none of us are guaranteed tomorrow or the next hour if we really consider our frailty.

What makes an 81 year old say something isn't "remotely life-threatening?" Is it trusting in the abundance of riches, self-sufficiency, power, or prestige? Anyone who has lived long enough has seen the sudden demise of rich and poor, famous and infamous. Death is no respecter of persons and all will one day encounter this final enemy. Alistair Begg stated in one of his sermons that we all have a shelf life, an expiration date; we just don't know what that date is. At 81 I would consider everything as "life-threatening!"

Yes, the truth is that we all have a life-threatening condition. The difference is that some choose to live in ignorance and denial as if it will never happen to them. But those in Christ know the One who has the cure. By His death on the cross and resurrection, Jesus conquered sin and death and He alone holds the keys to life and death. (I am he that lives, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive forevermore, Amen; and have the keys of hades and of death. - Rev. 1:18)

In James 4:13-15 we read about the wise perspective we should have as we make our future plans:

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”

Yes, each of us have a life-threatening condition but there is no need to fear when we know the One who conquered death and holds the keys.

One Hundred Fifty Three

Their nets are empty,

They are weary from trying.

The night lingers on,

No joy toward the dawn.

Then suddenly a sound

Comes from the shore,

"Let down your nets."

"Try over there."

Full to overflowing,

Sides bursting their seams.

The nets hold their fill,

One Hundred plus Fifty-three!

Is your net empty?

Are you weary from trying?

From shore the Master calls,

"Let down your net, try over there."

Do as He says,

You won't regret

That wonderful day

You let down your net.

John 21:1-11

2/11/87

Today's sermon referenced this scripture and Pastor Joel made the scripture alive with excitement. I recalled this prose from long ago and went searching for it. I am glad I did because it was typed on thermal paper and was fading away! Oh how our Master wants us to listen and obey. He will do more than we could ever imagine if we will let down our nets in response to His prompting :-)

Musings Prompted by Plastics

There are a million words I want to journal
Pages left blank by much that's unsaid
Thousands of songs that I still want to sing
From lips that long to praise the King

Somewhere from deep inside this heart
There's a stirring to keep pressing on
Sadness mingles with joy and
Heartbreak is the companion of love

Maybe I'll never write that book
Or learn to paint a sunset fair
But I can bend to mend a heart
And kiss a brow furrowed by pain

Stories end in happy ever after
But life just isn't so
The paradox of life is bolder
In the painful hour often shines the treasure

Memories linger to keep one tethered
As a reminder of the fleeing seconds
Today does not always lead to tomorrow
For some today is the last hurrah

Can we really seize the moment
Or does the heart resist the folly
For a moment is just that
The richness is in the whole of the journey

Center the heart on the One above
Lest searching carry us away
Bush and bramble obscure the path
If we embrace the distractions that beckon

For His is the kingdom, the power, the glory
Mine is to follow Him home
Light my path and draw me near
Keep me from error and straying alone

Presents come in boxes with bows
Shiny and bright to open with ease
Sacred moments are not as tidy
Gifts just the same yet bathed in tears

Each day, and every fleeting moment
Accumulate into the the years of our story
The lines on our faces and imperfections
Grow richer with turned calendar pages

Like candles on a cake they glow with the count
Of all life's joys and sorrows
A story He's writing just for me
And it surely ends in a happy ever after

A New Year

2012 arrived without much fanfare and since then I have been focused on getting over a nasty intestinal bug. It started around my birthday (12/23) but it wasn't until 12/30 that I realized this was beyond treating at home and saw the doctor. He started me on antibiotics over the New Year's weekend; however, by Tuesday it was apparent I wasn't tolerating them very well. The end result was a week off work spent mostly sleeping, dizzy, and nauseated. Yesterday the doctor changed the medicine to a prescription that insurance gives less than half at a time for a $40 copay. Too bad the insurance is my employer too :-( can't complain too much about it!

Finally today I am feeling more alert and less lethargic and confused - yes I think Fibro Fog kicked in as a complication! I am so thankful for just a glimpse of myself coming back as I was beginning to wonder. In the doctor's words, "you will think you are going to die, but you will live." The nurse suggested I ask for it in writing :-)

Today I have been considering how I can better manage my time and energy in this New Year. As we look around us and see the multitude of choices to consume time and energy, it is clear that we have to be very vigilant and discerning or we will be swallowed up in the trivial. I think that has happened to me somewhat because I love learning new things and exploring creative possibilities. The evidence of this is all of my unfinished projects and a few finished ones. Over the years I have attempted an upholstery class and recovered a loveseat and a few chairs (very hard work), I have learned piece quilting by hand with a friend Margaret when David was a little boy (finished 9 of 12 block of the month pieces that never made it to a final product and now the house is no longer country blue :-(. Let me see, there was also plastercraft painting which I enjoyed for quite awhile and then dad and I were into wood crafts with him making them and me painting them. I don't think we sold enough to pay for the paint much less the wood! Ah, then there were my sewing days when I sewed everything from jams for the kids in the 80s to goose clothes, bunnies, cabbage patch doll clothes and flags for the house. At one time I was stenciling sweatshirts and everyone got them for gifts, including Ellen. Speaking of Ellen, we sewed pot holders, Christmas ornaments, and aprons (boy those were the days of relaxing and learning from my spiritual mother). I almost forgot those jeweled scarves in the 80s that Cherie sold for me at the law firm; they paid for Christmas one year as a stay at home mom.

Back to my projects...I did a small amount of scrapbooking but lack the patience for perfection so I make my own style. There aren't too many things to show for these efforts but I recall us crafting a memory book about Grandma Cornell for the funeral. In this genre, I still like to craft cards and have a closet full of supplies but don't seem to devote much time to the hobby unless I go to a class with Betsy or Crystal and I find a rare evening to fellowship around cards. Let me see, am I missing anything? Yes, there is jewelry making which mostly has consisted of bracelets and a few earrings. And, I can't forget the knitting which has only progressed to scarves with the knit stitch (forget purling). David says my knitting is the equivalent of a clown balloon maker only making worms! Oh, and I can't forget that Alex and I took a colors class this summer and I promptly bought pens and pencils hoping to do more...hmmm, never seemed to get around to it~ I have also taken a cake decorating class and a few candy making classes along the way but again, I seem to develop my own "style" lacking the patience for perfection as the craft is taught. Although I may have officially failed the cake decorating class as my confection to make roses arrived in class as hard as a brick and even with the loaned icing I promptly crafted a pitiful rose and spinned it right out onto the floor. Since Bobbie and I were in hysterics we didn't pass with flying colors.

I still would like to learn to do decorative painting, watercolor, pottery, stained glass and...jewelry pins from sentimental vintage pieces. Plus, I am sure there is a thing or two I am forgetting!

But, that brings me back to the reason for this post. How will I spend my time in 2012? I think my priorities for ministry fall into three buckets: Grace Women's Ministry, Voice of the Martyrs, and Christian Women's Club speaking. That brings clarity but I still have guilt every time I am asked to do children's ministry because there is such a need for volunteers. Someone out there isn't using their gift!

As for the house, I would really, really, really like to make 2012 the year of decluttering and accumulating less. To that end I am joining a Proverbs 31 online group with that focus. Personally, I would also like to stay on top of tracking my checkbook and expenses so it doesn't get so hard to do. There isn't a danger of over drafting or anything like that, it is just that it gets very hard to recreate the paper trail.

Spiritually, and that is the most important area of all - I also need to focus more on just a few things and not be so scattered and drawn by every opportunity that comes along. I want to continue to read through the Bible this year (I am in Joshua since we started in the fall I think). Dave got way out there ahead of me! Also, perhaps using the Made to Crave devotional and getting that whole area focused spiritually in conjunction with the Just This healthy eating plan. There I go again, adding to!

Well, my prayer is that the Lord take this "cracked pot" and continue to shape her into something beautiful He can use for His glory and grace! And may the creative mind and energy He gave me be focused where it will produce the most for HIM.

P.S. Can't forget the fleece blankets I made and the special tools I had to buy to try and make them like the one Hannah got at Children's Hospital :-)

Remembering My Mother

At 19 in the midst of the struggle to set my course and figure out life, it was quite unexpected. My mother and I were still embroiled in the phase so many teens and moms endure. We had not emerged yet as friends; that perhaps is one of my deepest regrets, because there were things both said and left unsaid that could not be made right again.

My mother was 38, vibrant, fun-loving, struggling herself to find stability after ending her 18 year marriage in a day when divorce was not commonplace. No one knew a blood vessel was burgeoning and weakening with every pulse of blood flow, soon to interrupt and change life forever as I knew it to be in August, 1969. Men had walked on the moon that year and Kathy would be leaving earth too, but hers would be a permanent departure. It was an ordinary summer day when the blood tore through the vessel holding it back and seeped through places and in spaces not meant to hold it, damaging her brain and stealing forever her smiling Irish eyes.

When one loses a mother, for most of us it is the loss of the one person who loved us no matter what and believed in us when we couldn't believe in ourselves. She is the permanent cheerleader no matter if we are winning or losing in the game of life. Mom would never know my children or answer the phone for the lifetime of questions a daughter wants to ask her mother throughout the years.

Nevertheless, she left her imprint on my heart and life in ways beyond those years that were cut short. Silly things like my toes that look exactly like hers, the memory of how she could make a special day just perfect with her attention to every detail, or the way she never gave permission to stay overnight until your friends got tired waiting and asked someone else! I also learned the hard way NEVER to volunteer her to do ANYTHING without first asking her, something I chose to do differently with my children :-)

This is the 42nd year of her death but it can still bring tears if I linger too long on memory lane. It was a Sunday morning at 7 a.m. that she died, the beautiful morning defying the pain I felt in my heart. In those days people were pushed out of their loved ones presence during the dying process, leaving them to die alone with strangers. Thankfully, culture has changed and now those who want to walk through the valley of the shadow of death with loved ones are permitted and even encouraged to do so.

Those first years after her death were years of turmoil and confusion. It was 11 years later that Jesus sought me and bought me with his redeeming blood as the hymn writer penned, and that has made all the difference for hope and healing. The Lord promises that His mercies are new each morning and great is His faithfulness (Lamentations 3:22-23). He has been my strength and source of hope for He loves me even more than my mother in whose womb I was fearfully and wonderfully made by Him (Psalm 139) and that love is an everlasting love!