Daddy's Girls Club

I am starting a club and naming it Daddy’s Girls. Do you remember when we were young and everything seemed to revolve around being in a “club”. Week to week the club may change about as often as we changed our mind about most anything as a young girl. And, whether or not you were in the “club” depended on who was doing the organizing and choosing of members. Being left out was the ultimate punishment a friend may inflict if she was prone to getting revenge for even the most minor of offences.

Well, my club isn’t based on whim or fancy, likes or dislikes. Rather, it is formed by a very unique group of Daddy’s Girls that have been through the valley with their Daddy and can never turn back the hands of time. To be in this club means you have endured, faced life head on, loved lavishly and given unselfishly as Daddy’s Girl.

Most certainly, club members will welcome and embrace one another as those outside the club are unable to do. Their camaraderie will be evident in their understanding of one another, their tears, and their nods of affirmation. It isn’t easy to join Daddy’s Girls. It will cost you dearly, but it is worth every tear.

No one begins life planning to join Daddy’s Girls and the funny thing about it is that you don’t even know the club exists UNTIL you are already a member and meet another member. Suddenly, it is like pinky swear all over again and you could say, “jinx, you owe me a coke” because you keep saying the same things without even trying. 

Members have many things in common that are meaningful and deep but one of the most obvious is that they had a Daddy who loved them dearly, was so proud of them that he could just about pop the buttons on a vest if he wore one, and never tired of telling anyone who would listen about his girls. These Daddys were Mr. Fix It, Santa Claus, and Prince Charming all rolled into one. These Daddys made their little girls dreams come true and even when they really didn’t want to do it, you would never know!

But back to the Club. Sometime along life’s way the Daddy becomes older and the Daddy’s Girls begin to switch places with him and care more for him as he weakens and can do less and less for them. But that never diminishes the pride he feels or the smile he beams at just being with his girls. These are just pop quizzes and midterm exams but then one day the final test for being in the Daddy’s Girls Club comes. Daddy's girls suddenly find themselves wishing it wasn’t so and hoping against hope that something will change. Surely Mr. Fix It, Santa, and Prince Charming all rolled into one will garner the strength, or win the battle just one more time. But this time is different, he is losing, and he won’t stand tall ever again. 

Daddy’s Girls remember the love, the loyalty, and just how proud he was to call them his own. They remember all he taught them and they know what to do because they are Daddy’s Girls. They can’t walk away from the battle, even though he is losing the war. They stay, they love, they speak as he has spoken countless times over the years to them. Daddy’s Girls tell him they are okay, they will be fine,  and he did a good job. They also tell him it’s okay to go and they stay close and wait until the last breath, and the after breath tell them he’s gone. Daddy’s girls love to the end as he always loved them, lavishly, without holding back. It’s the least they could do for one who dried their tears, bandaged their skinned knees, and mended their broken hearts along the path of life.

Daddy’s Girls, the club for those who are given the privilege of choosing to stay by their Daddy’s side until his last breath. They are forever changed and forever blessed to have been Daddy’s Girls right to the end when he had to go, took a piece of their heart with him, and left his legacy of love behind.

·      In Memory of Gregory P. Graham

·      March 1, 2013 - Pam Cornell and Patte Smith joined the Daddy’s Girls Club

"It's Not Life-Threatening"

On this morning's news it was reported that Warren Buffett, the well-known billionaire, has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. The report quoted Buffett as saying that it isn't "remotely life- threatening." Those words struck me as quite odd because we all have a "life-threatening" condition! We have to admit that none of us are guaranteed tomorrow or the next hour if we really consider our frailty.

What makes an 81 year old say something isn't "remotely life-threatening?" Is it trusting in the abundance of riches, self-sufficiency, power, or prestige? Anyone who has lived long enough has seen the sudden demise of rich and poor, famous and infamous. Death is no respecter of persons and all will one day encounter this final enemy. Alistair Begg stated in one of his sermons that we all have a shelf life, an expiration date; we just don't know what that date is. At 81 I would consider everything as "life-threatening!"

Yes, the truth is that we all have a life-threatening condition. The difference is that some choose to live in ignorance and denial as if it will never happen to them. But those in Christ know the One who has the cure. By His death on the cross and resurrection, Jesus conquered sin and death and He alone holds the keys to life and death. (I am he that lives, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive forevermore, Amen; and have the keys of hades and of death. - Rev. 1:18)

In James 4:13-15 we read about the wise perspective we should have as we make our future plans:

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”

Yes, each of us have a life-threatening condition but there is no need to fear when we know the One who conquered death and holds the keys.

Remembering My Mother

At 19 in the midst of the struggle to set my course and figure out life, it was quite unexpected. My mother and I were still embroiled in the phase so many teens and moms endure. We had not emerged yet as friends; that perhaps is one of my deepest regrets, because there were things both said and left unsaid that could not be made right again.

My mother was 38, vibrant, fun-loving, struggling herself to find stability after ending her 18 year marriage in a day when divorce was not commonplace. No one knew a blood vessel was burgeoning and weakening with every pulse of blood flow, soon to interrupt and change life forever as I knew it to be in August, 1969. Men had walked on the moon that year and Kathy would be leaving earth too, but hers would be a permanent departure. It was an ordinary summer day when the blood tore through the vessel holding it back and seeped through places and in spaces not meant to hold it, damaging her brain and stealing forever her smiling Irish eyes.

When one loses a mother, for most of us it is the loss of the one person who loved us no matter what and believed in us when we couldn't believe in ourselves. She is the permanent cheerleader no matter if we are winning or losing in the game of life. Mom would never know my children or answer the phone for the lifetime of questions a daughter wants to ask her mother throughout the years.

Nevertheless, she left her imprint on my heart and life in ways beyond those years that were cut short. Silly things like my toes that look exactly like hers, the memory of how she could make a special day just perfect with her attention to every detail, or the way she never gave permission to stay overnight until your friends got tired waiting and asked someone else! I also learned the hard way NEVER to volunteer her to do ANYTHING without first asking her, something I chose to do differently with my children :-)

This is the 42nd year of her death but it can still bring tears if I linger too long on memory lane. It was a Sunday morning at 7 a.m. that she died, the beautiful morning defying the pain I felt in my heart. In those days people were pushed out of their loved ones presence during the dying process, leaving them to die alone with strangers. Thankfully, culture has changed and now those who want to walk through the valley of the shadow of death with loved ones are permitted and even encouraged to do so.

Those first years after her death were years of turmoil and confusion. It was 11 years later that Jesus sought me and bought me with his redeeming blood as the hymn writer penned, and that has made all the difference for hope and healing. The Lord promises that His mercies are new each morning and great is His faithfulness (Lamentations 3:22-23). He has been my strength and source of hope for He loves me even more than my mother in whose womb I was fearfully and wonderfully made by Him (Psalm 139) and that love is an everlasting love!