A Grandmother's Heart

Although I've been a grandmother for ten years now, yesterday brought a new experience and with it a new lesson of the heart. My son-in-law's grandmother passed away this week at age 94. She was a woman of faith and had shared her love with my daughter's family over the years. My grandson Alex is 10 and as the oldest of the grandchildren, he seemed to be the one most aware of the loss. He was trying to be brave but he was very sad since her death.

As I sat with him through the funeral, he listened intently to his Uncle's message of her faith and the blessed hope of heaven. When he shared about her coaxing them to vist and prolonging their exit with just "one more hug" Alex could hold it in no longer and buried his head in my shoulder and cried. The grief overcame him again at the end as we walked to the lobby. Afterwards, I drove him to a friend's house where his sister and brother were staying. Along the way we stopped for a milkshake at McDonalds and I pulled the car into a parking spot and asked him to move to the front seat so we could talk. I explained to him that often when I wanted to talk to his Uncle David I would take him to McDonalds and we would park and talk, explaining that I would carry on the tradition with him :-)

I tried to console him, read Psalm 18, and shared my experience of loss at 10 years old when Shiner died, a friend who lived with my grandparents and was like a grandfather to me. My heart hurt for Alex in a way it never has before. But then, his heart has never hurt quite that badly either. The burden I carried continued throughout the day after leaving him and even today brought tears to my eyes when I paused to think about it. As I prayed for him, I asked the Lord to lift his burden and heal his heart.

The whole experience caught me off guard a bit. I've been very concerned for other reasons over the years, such as health concerns, but this was very different. It was a heartache I felt because he hurt - just like it is with my children. So, now I understand a new facet of grandparenting - that shared pain when hearts are entertwined is unavoidable. And given the nature of life, it isn't a solo event.